Stephen A. Smith is the president America deserves

Note: Let it be known ahead of time that I have absolutely no clue what Stephen A. Smith’s personal politics are, and in case it actually needs to be mentioned: This is satire. Nobody with a shred of logic would actually advocate for SAS to be president of the United States.

I haven’t felt the need to inherently point out something is satire before, but people absolutely lose it around topics like this, and frankly I don’t need the drama in my life of y’all being up in my Twitter mentions sharing old SAS clips as evidence why he’s not suited to be commander in chief.


The bar to holding political office has never been more accessible. Once the folly of people with law degrees, or those who have a basic understanding of geopolitics — all you need to be a world-class politician in 2022 is an ability to scream loudly and make people believe you. Hell, you don’t even need to really believe the things you’re screaming about, so long as you can grift enough dummies into thinking you side with them.

Enter the GOAT of yelling things loudly he may or may not actually believe.

Stephen A. Smith said on JJ Redick’s podcast that he was approached about running for Senate

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) June 13, 2022

Stephen A. Smith was approached to run for senate, but this is setting your sights far too low. It’s limiting your potential. Stopping any possibility of upward momentum and progress. It’s like choosing to be a Knicks fan when the vastly superior Nets are right there for you to support.

So while a nameless individual might have asked SAS to run for senate, I’m putting my name on it. Hello, Stephen A. Smith — my name is James Dator and I would like you to consider running for president of the United States. I’ve given this approximately seven minutes of distracted thought and I cannot think of a single reason this is a bad idea. I know people will have a knee jerk reaction. They’ll say he’s innately unqualified to run for office — but I will counter with a series of watertight facts I just learned after reading the Stephen A. Smith entry on Wikipedia, married with information I already know.

8 reasons Stephen A. Smith is the perfect U.S. President

No. 1: He has years of experience going toe-to-toe with an out of touch old white men

The time SAS dueled with Skip Bayless on First Take makes him uniquely capable of verbally sparring with politicians. Like a public servant Bane, he was moulded by debate and will flourish in this venue.

No. 2: SAS was born in the Bronx, and went to school in North Carolina

Bridging the remaining deep wounds and misunderstanding between the north and the south. Also, SAS went to Winston-Salem State. Know who else is from Winston-Salem? Chris Paul.

Just as Paul dishes out the assists, SAS will assist America. Hell, I just made an entire ticket.

No. 3: Stephen A. Smith is a semi-regular on General Hospital

A TV star as a president? What could possibly go wrong?!

This man has been on ESPN forever, General Hospital, he’s the voice of the stomach in Oberto beef jerky commercials. That range allows him to reach all sorts of Americans will different background and speak directly to them.

No. 4: SAS is a self-made millionaire

This is a man who knows what it takes to grind his way to the top. Not to mention, Smith is actually a really smart dude with an established history of excellent sports takes — but he understood you don’t get that paper unless those takes are hot.

There’s functionally very little difference between spitting hot takes on First Take and spitting them on the floor of congress.

No. 5: Stephen A. Smith loves calling things “blasphemous” that he doesn’t like

What’s more American than that?

No. 6: SAS hates the Cowboys

Just like a majority of Americans. See, politicians can be just like us.

It’s time we accepted that while Dallas might be America’s Team in name, they no longer represent us. We can channel this hatred into a new era of understanding and camaraderie.

No. 7: I think he understands the big issues

Inflation, systemic inequality — things of that nature.

No. 8: Stephen A. Smith’s father managed a hardware store

Very important in understanding the importance of infrastructure.

If you want to support the Stephen A. Smith presidency …

I dunno. DM me for my Venmo info, or something. I’m not going to lie and pretend the funds will actually be used to get SAS elected. I also don’t have the desire to put in any of the work required to turn him into a candidate as his campaign manager.

However, inspired by SAS I know it’s not about what you say, but how loud you say it. So, in that vein: LET’S MAKE STEPHEN A. SMITH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND SEND ME MONEY TO (not) MAKE THIS HAPPEN!

Note: This article have been indexed to our site. We do not claim legitimacy, ownership or copyright of any of the content above. To see the article at original source Click Here

Related Posts
五輪2冠の大橋悠依V「すごく良いレースができて、タイム的にも満足」

五輪2冠の大橋悠依V「すごく良いレースができて、タイム的にも満足」

メインコンテンツ ホーム スポーツ 水泳 ニュース RSS [2022年1月23日15時59分] 女子200メートル個人メドレー予選を終え、笑顔を見せる大橋(撮影・菅敏) <競泳:北島康介杯>◇第3日◇23日◇東京辰巳国際水泳場◇女子200メートル個人メドレー 東京オリンピック(五輪)女子個人メドレー2冠の大橋悠依(26=イトマン東進)が、2分10秒65で制した。「楽しく泳ごうと思うけど、直前になると緊張して」と話したが、序盤から好位置に付けた。今大会5種目目と疲れもある中でも、そこは本命の種目。平泳ぎが終了の150メートル通過時点でトップに立ち、最後の自由形でも力強い泳ぎを見せた。「すごく良いレースができて、タイム的にも満足している」と充実感をにじませた。 フィーチャー コラム一覧 フィーチャー 特集一覧 photo写真ニュース 埼玉“初戦”白星で勝ち点5、初代王者へ歩み「上がっていくだけ」坂手主将 埼玉「僕たちの開幕戦」勝利 コロナ影響で今季初戦「タイトルを取る」松田 東海大大阪仰星・湯浅監督 急いで着替え公式戦タッチジャッジに“変身” 東海大大阪仰星新チーム初勝利「仰星の伝統は展開力、速さにこだわりたい」 絆が大きな力に…東京五輪に続いて、北京五輪も「きょうだい」の大会になる スポーツ テニス 陸上 フィギュア バレー バスケ スポーツ 埼玉“初戦”白星で勝ち点5、初代王者へ歩み「上が… [記事へ] ラグビー埼玉“初戦”白星で勝ち点5、初代王者へ歩み「上が…[1月23日 19:56] ラグビー埼玉「僕たちの開幕戦」勝利 コロナ影響で今季初戦…[1月23日 19:02] ラグビー東海大大阪仰星・湯浅監督 急いで着替え公式戦タッ…[1月23日 16:47] ラグビー東海大大阪仰星新チーム初勝利「仰星の伝統は展開力…[1月23日 16:40] コラム絆が大きな力に…東京五輪に続いて、北京五輪も「き…[1月23日 16:00] 水泳五輪2冠の大橋悠依V「すごく良いレースができて、…[1月23日 15:59] スポーツ高校レスリング、新型コロナで延期の新潟県予選を2…[1月23日 15:02] テニス国枝慎吾、初戦突破 昨年王者破るもモチベーション…[1月23日 14:51] 水泳大橋悠依200個メ全体1位で決勝進出、池江璃花子…[1月23日 12:29] テニス波乱!車いすテニス上地結衣、ストレート負けで10…[1月23日 12:15] 記事一覧 テニス 国枝慎吾、初戦突破 昨年王者破るもモチベーション… [記事へ] テニス国枝慎吾、初戦突破 昨年王者破るもモチベーション…[1月23日 14:51] テニス波乱!車いすテニス上地結衣、ストレート負けで10…[1月23日 12:15]…
Read More
Nice: C.Galtier

Nice: C.Galtier

« Par Damien Da Silva - Le 14/01/2022 » Malgré la victoire de l'OGC Nice ce vendredi contre le FC Nantes (2-1) lors de la 21e journée de Ligue 1, l'entraîneur des Aiglons Christophe Galtier n'a pas été satisfait de la copie rendue par ses joueurs. Au micro de Prime Vidéo, le technicien niçois a…
Read More
India vs West Indies: Full Schedule Of ODI, T20I Series

India vs West Indies: Full Schedule Of ODI, T20I Series

India will be hosted West Indies in ODI and T20I series.© AFPIndia and West Indies clash in a limited-overs series that begins with the first ODI at the Narendra Modi Stadium in Ahmedabad on Sunday. The next two ODIs will be played at the same venue on February 9 and 11. The ODIs will be…
Read More

Antonio Cassano smashed Mauricio Pochettino

L'ancien milieu offensif italien est bien connu pour son tempérament et son franc-parler. Antonio Cassano n'a pas hésité à dézinguer les choix tactiques de l'entraîneur du Paris Saint-Germain Mauricio Pochettino. L'ex-international de la Squadra Azzurra (39 sélections, 10 buts) pense même que le technicien argentin ne restera pas longtemps sur le banc parisien si les choses…
Read More
Index Of News

Liking our Index Of News so far? Would you like to subscribe to receive news updates daily?

Total
0
Share