7 Therapy Goals That Are Super Specific and Actually Achievable

A good therapist can certainly help you improve your mental health, but these pros aren’t magicians. You’ll have to work on yourself, too, and setting clear therapy goals is a great way to motivate and track your progress.

It sounds pretty straightforward, but deciding what you want to focus on—and then creating a game plan with your therapist—can be overwhelming, especially if it’s your first time in therapy. That’s why it’s always a good idea to break down long-term goals into smaller ones that are more specific and realistic, Jaclyn Bsales, LCSW, a trauma-informed therapist based in New Jersey, tells SELF.

These objectives will depend on your unique situation, of course, but to give you some inspiration, we asked seven therapists to suggest achievable goals that can benefit pretty much anyone.

1. “I’m going to start noticing and naming my feelings.”

“An important goal to start with, particularly if you’re about to start therapy for the first time, is acknowledging what you’re feeling—emotionally and physically—on a daily basis,” Cassie Ekstrom, LCSW, a social worker at Baltimore Therapy Group, tells SELF. Beyond just recognizing that you’re “sad” while sobbing about your ex or “angry” after arguing with your mom, it’s helpful to practice sitting with these uncomfortable feelings and noticing the thoughts and sensations they bring up, instead of running away from them, Ekstrom says. That way you’re in a better position to make sense of their root causes.

Your therapist can teach you specific tools to make this less overwhelming. For instance, they might suggest writing out what you’re feeling and thinking in a journal, Ekstrom says, or ask you a bunch of questions that encourage you to explore what you’re experiencing. It won’t be easy, but tapping into your most difficult emotions will help you develop the coping skills to help regulate them, Ekstrom explains.

2. “I’ll reflect on my ‘failures’ and mistakes in a healthier way.”

Beating yourself up for not getting your dream job or not achieving any of your previous New Year’s resolutions isn’t the motivator or “tough love” you might think it is. “It’s unproductive to allow regret about unfinished goals or past perceived failures to overshadow your future,” Weena Wise, LCFT, therapist and owner of Covenant Counseling Group in Silver Spring, Maryland, tells SELF. Plus, obsessing over what you should (or shouldn’t) have done will just keep you stuck, making it even harder to move forward and grow as a person, Wise says.

There are a variety of strategies therapists use to help clients challenge negative self-talk and let go of regrets. Mindfulness, for example, can keep you from dwelling on the past, and a gratitude practice can shift your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have, Wise says. “Some mistakes may be harder to move on from than others, but learning to reflect on them in a productive, more compassionate way will help make goal setting truly successful in the future.”

3. “I’m going to distance myself from toxic people.”

“I always say, we become who we surround ourselves with, so pay attention to how the people in your life make you feel,” Bsales recommends. For example, maybe your aunt triggers your insecurities because she comments on your body every damn time she sees you. Or perhaps your so-called friend seems more like a competitor than a bestie based on the way they keep trying to one-up you.

“If you’re consistently drained—mentally or physically—by those around you, you’re unable to become the best version of yourself,” Bsales says. “So a great therapy goal can be moving toward those who add to your life, not take from it,” which might involve setting boundaries around (or cutting out, in some cases) the folks who bring you down.

4. “I’ll work on setting healthy boundaries with my loved ones too.”

Speaking of boundaries…they’re not only for toxic family members and micromanaging bosses. You may need to set them with your favorite people, like your partner or pals, too. A licensed therapist can help you figure out how to establish—and communicate—your needs to the people closest to you, clinical psychologist Adia Gooden, PhD, tells SELF.

“These boundaries might be about what we will or won’t do, or who we will and won’t spend time with,” Dr. Gooden says. As an example: Maybe you always feel anxious after drinking with a certain group of friends. While you don’t necessarily have to ghost them (especially if you enjoy their company in other settings), you can make it clear that you’re only down for daytime lunches or walks in the park, and not for alcohol-fueled nights out. Or in the case of a significant other who expects you to do all the chores, you might land on establishing a specific and reasonable schedule for vacuuming, dusting, and bathroom cleaning.

After all, healthy connections thrive on balance, Dr. Gooden says—and anyone who truly cares about your well-being should understand and respect your needs.

5. “I’ll make an effort to build a bigger support system.”

Having multiple confidantes to lean on when you’re struggling can provide you with different perspectives—and prevent any one person in your life from feeling overwhelmed. “If you think your [social circle] is lacking, you can make it a goal to collaborate with your therapist on ways to find added support,” Stephanie Harimoto, LMFT, a therapist at Highland Park Holistic Psychotherapy in Los Angeles, tells SELF.

This could include strengthening friendships you already have, or making an effort to connect with new people via group new hobbies or local meetups, Harimoto says. If you’re an introvert or just not sure how to make friends as an adult, a therapist can help you build your communication skills or provide practical resources on finding like-minded folks who can lift you up.

6. “I’m going to quiet my negative, overly critical thoughts.”

Being kinder to yourself isn’t as easy as it sounds, especially after a frustrating moment at work or a bad body image day, for instance. “Many people are taught how to love, respect, and have compassion for others, but unfortunately, they’re not taught to do the same for themselves,” Matthew Braman, LCSW, founder of Verve Psychotherapy in Baltimore, tells SELF. Perhaps this internal judgment stems from a hypercritical parent, or maybe a toxic ex destroyed your self-esteem.

That doesn’t mean you can’t change with time and practice: Shutting down that critical voice in your head telling you that you’re not good enough is an attainable, worthwhile goal, Braman says.

Whatever (or whomever) is to blame, a therapist will know how to guide you toward self-compassion, he adds—perhaps with mindfulness-based techniques that can make you more aware of your inner critic, or cognitive behavioral therapy skills that allow you to replace black-and-white thoughts (“I’m a total failure!”) with more balanced ones (“Messing up once doesn’t diminish my other successes”). Developing positive affirmations can also help you foster more optimism and gratitude both in the short term and long term, he says.

7. “I’ll work on having a healthier relationship with social media.”

Ironically you might be reading this article on your phone right now. But spending too much time on your precious little handheld device might be one of the reasons you’re feeling unfulfilled—and you can work on finding your social media sweet spot in your therapy sessions.

“Especially with all of the challenges going on in the world, [too much] scrolling can have a very real impact on your mood,” Gavin Shafron, PhD, a New York–based clinical psychologist, tells SELF. For one, excessive social media use can worsen anxiety, depression, and body-image issues, as SELF previously reported. Plus, staring at a screen for too long can also mess with your sleep (and, therefore, your mental state) and distract you from more fulfilling pursuits, like getting work done or spending time with loved ones, research shows.

That doesn’t mean you have to quit Twitter (sorry, X) or live off the grid forever. Instead you and your therapist can come up with more realistic goals. For example, maybe you want to be more mindful of your limits—by determining how long you can watch “get ready with me” TikToks before they start taking away from your real life, say, or which (if any) of the fitness influencers you follow on Instagram really help your well-being. Setting these boundaries on your own can be difficult, though, which is why it’s helpful to have a mental health professional guide you, and hold you accountable if you’re struggling to maintain the balance you’re after, Dr. Shafron says.

Regardless of the specific goals you’re striving for, don’t expect to transform into a happier, way-less-stressed version of yourself in a matter of weeks. That said, all of the experts we spoke to assured us that with practice and patience—and a therapist who’s schooled in evidence-based advice by your side—you’ll start noticing changes. Maybe not earth-shattering ones, but even the tiniest improvements in your mood, mindset, or overall well-being are well worth the effort.

Related:

• 4 Ways to Tell If Your Self-Care Practice Is Actually Making You Feel Better
• 11 Little Mental Health Tips That Therapists Actually Give Their Patients
• 25 Wellness Resolutions That Have Nothing to Do With Dieting or Weight Loss