Duda Alapacha: If anyone asks

) If anyone asks, there is a story in physics about the collision of charged particles that says that every charged particle must travel a certain distance before it can find its peace. Along the way, the particle loses energy. That’s exactly how we feel these days. Electrified, we collide with each other, without any sense and order, and along the way – we lose that precious energy, which, if there was a better time, we would use for nicer and smarter things. But alas, we are not in physics class. Although we can’t wait for it to ring. Because all this – it takes too long.

(If anyone asks – on March 6 last year, we were informed that a man from Subotica, aged forty and over) three years – the first registered case of covid. The man is feeling well, they added. Exactly five hundred and seventy-nine days have passed since then. And if someone asks – no one feels good anymore.

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If anyone asks – for a year and a half we have been exposed to various information. Initially uninformed, then misinformed, we live in anticipation that someone will finally tell us the real truth. And they talk about how who and what comes to mind. Because – the truth is a lot. And too much, to be honest. And everything is slowly starting to look like one big closed institution in which we live, so collectively traumatized, electrified by bad news and even worse forecasts. And yet, even so demolished, we hope for something, in secret, each in a circle of his own disorders.

Some are afraid. Others are too brave. Others ignore it. The fourth retreats into some of their mini realities. The fifth is hysterical, the sixth lethargic, the seventh whatever… And all that is normal.

After all, how could it not be – in a short time we went through everything – from negation, through shock, to disbelief and beyond. When the first case appeared “somewhere in China”, few people paid attention. We were too busy with the January days. And a month later, we lived our ordinary lives nonchalantly, traveling, going out and saying that “there is no chance that it will reach us”. Even when it arrived – we relied on “they don’t want me”. At that time, no one still knew someone who knew someone whose someone there – got sick. Then came the closing, then the release a little, then the opening and so on – not to mention. We pushed somehow, saying “it will pass” and “this can’t last forever”.

Summer has somehow made us happy, given hope that everything is over, and that after we have seen the third (or more) wave of the pandemic, we can finally enjoy some other waves – and the sea – for a change.

In the meantime, vaccines have arrived. Some stabbed, some didn’t. Basically, so sunny and rested, we prepared for the fall, took out an arsenal of empty jars from the pantry (needed for the winter), bought firewood, books and backpacks for school. The brave even paid some Egypt or Greece out of season. And just when we thought that life was returning to our big door – a new peak of a new wave followed, an increase in the number of infected, deceased, hospitalized, all hand in hand with new conspiracy theories, new truths and new disappointments. And if someone asks – there is no one who does not know someone who is not only sick, hospitalized, but also passed away. From “they don’t want me” to “do we have anyone in Batajnica”, a little more than a year and a half has passed, as I said.

A year and a half. Now we are all well burst. We are all running out of energy. We are afraid every day, each in his own way.

Those who are sick, worry about whether they will recover. They are healthy if they get sick. Will they be so sick, will they make someone else next to them sick? Those who work think how to keep that job. Those without a job, how to earn a dinar, feed themselves, their family. They would like to hang out and have no one to hang out with. The retreats retreat even deeper, more. People are moving away. Families are falling apart. Friendships and marriages – break up overnight. Sooner or later – we all become painfully aware that this game makes no sense, that no one is safe anymore and that there are no protected ones. We, who still hold some joysticks in our hands, have spent all our lives and are playing relegation. How and for how long? Who knows, my professor…

So, before you turn completely, before you turn into that particle from the beginning of the story and lose the last grains of energy trying to solve this sick equation with more unknowns, try to save yourself. Come back to yourself. Talk to yourself. Shake yourself well, like that – like an old carpet before glory. Get as close as you can. And be well with me. In yourself. With you. Not at all. Because, if someone asks – outside and there is no god knows.

) lepotaizdravlje.rs