Everyone Else Can Get Lost: This Fortnite Dino Is My New BFF

Every time I feel like my relatively newfound passion for Fortnite is starting to wane, Epic Games drops some cool new thing that I instantly fall in love with. For example, now the battle royale game features dinosaur-like beasts that suck up scenery and shoot rare weapons out of their mighty blowholes. They are called Klombos, also known as adorable mobile battle platforms.

For some players the big news in this week’s Fortnite update is the return of Tilted Towers, an iconic location from the game with a rather twisted history. The fan-favorite spot, with its awesome clock tower and plenty of apartment buildings to explore, was originally added to the island in the second season of the game’s first chapter. Since then it’s been covered in snow, hit by a meteor, partially destroyed by a giant cube, and then completely destroyed by a volcano. It was rebuilt twice, once as the futuristic Neo Tilted, and then as the Wild West-themed Tilted Town. Then, because this is Fortnite, it was replaced with Gotham City. Now it’s back, freshly rebuilt and ready for Epic to fuck it up all over again.

But all of that is not important right now. What’s important is Klombos.

These massive beasts, which look like something from Dreamworks’ How To Train Your Dragon franchise, can now be found stomping their way across the island during regular Fortnite matches. I encountered this particular beastie during my first post-update solos match. It was just stomping around, eating things like vehicles, chunks of buildings, and other bits of decoration–literally chewing up the scenery everywhere it went. At regular intervals it would pause and shoot rare and legendary weapons out from the blowhole atop its head.

Being a curious player with no interest in actually winning a match, I dropped whatever it was I was doing previously to play with the beast. I built some walls to see if it would eat them, which it did. I jumped on its back to see if I could ride it, which I could. When another curious player approached, I took them out from atop my mighty steed. And just when I thought my day couldn’t get any better, I stood atop its blowhole and was shot high into the sky.

Isn’t it magnificent? Just try not to get on its bad side, because when you start shooting at a Klombo they stop spouting guns and start spitting damage. Feeding them a fruit called a Klomberry calms them right down, but best not to get them riled in the first place.

Thanks for the new beastie bestie, Epic. I eagerly await the toys, plushies, and Klombo-headed hoodies that are no doubt already in the works.