How Ramadan ‘safe spaces’ are changing lives among celebrating LGBTIQ+ Muslims

HIGHLIGHTS

• LGBTIQ+ Muslims often face exclusion within the wider Islamic community.
• Communal isolation peaks during religious and community congregations such as Ramadan, advocates say.
• Melbourne-based BridgeMeals provides safe spaces during Ramadan by organising iftars and other social events year-round.

The month of Ramadan is a deeply religious time for Muslims as they fast from daybreak to sunset. It is also a time when worshippers perform special prayers, contemplate life goals and gather with friends and family.

Oftentimes, Muslims excluded from such gatherings comprise members from the LGBTIQ+ community.

That community is the Melbourne-based BridgeMeals, an organisation run by and for LGBTIQ+ refugees, asylum seekers and migrants.

Established in 2017, the group held an iftar every week during Ramadan this year for the community of Muslims, ex-Muslims and cultural Muslims.

Cultural Muslims are those born in devout families but don’t practice Islam or perform rituals. However, they do celebrate iftars and Eid as cultural events.

When it’s not Ramadan, BridgeMeals distributes free meals and organises mental health support sessions.

“The main purpose is to provide a non-judgemental safe space,” says leader Abdullah Yahya*.

The last iftar of this Ramadan was hosted by BridgeMeals on 16 April.

It was an invitation-only affair, where members of the LGBTIQ+ community, their families and allies were invited.

BridgeMeals volunteer Basem Kerbage explains the reasons behind the secrecy.

“We posted on social media about our free Queer iftar event, inviting people to join us.

“Our focus is on mental health, charity and community. We do not focus these events on religion.

We received over 300 comments on the post with approximately 140 being from the Muslim community calling us mentally ill, disgusting, that we need to repent and remind our community why their fear and concerns were merited.

BASEM KERBAGE, VOLUNTEER, BRIDGEMEALS

At the iftars, the atmosphere is festive.

Volunteers prepare the meals that are served to the guests. They also usher in the guests.

Celebrating with the community

This safe space created for LGBTIQ+ Muslims is something Abdurrahman and Sasja Sydek are enjoying during their first Ramadan with BridgeMeals.

Abdurrahman was born and raised in Egypt. As a gay man in that country, he says he couldn’t see a future to grow and be himself.

Since arriving in Australia, he has joined numerous LGBTIQ+ groups which helped him find acceptance — personally and socially.

“When I was younger, being gay and Muslim created a lot of confusion.

“There were many years when I fasted just for 15 days, rather than the full month before being gay stopped me from fasting,” Abdurrahman explains.

I felt I was not worthy of fasting, which created a lot of barriers with the rest of the community.

ABDURRAHMAN, EGYPT-BORN LGBTIQ+ MUSLIM

The BridgeMeals community provided him with a welcoming space to truly enjoy Ramadan, he says.

“In the first iftar, we put the azaan [call to prayer] on. We shared some prayers.

Celebrating Ramadan with my own rules, in my own way is a very enriching experience.

ABDURRAHMAN

“It added a new layer [to my celebration] that I didn’t know I was missing, to be honest,” he adds.

Ms Sydek was born in Singapore to a strongly devout Muslim Malay family.

As a transgender woman in that country, discrimination was an aspect that she thought she “had to endure”.

But coming to Australia allowed her to learn that there is more to this side of her identity.

“I learnt about my rights here. I learnt about my self-worth here. I found myself again for who I am,” she says.

The Muslim community told me I couldn’t be trans and Muslim. I had to pick one.

SASJA SYDEK, SINGAPORE-BORN LGBTIQ+ MUSLIM

She said it took a trip to Malaysia’s capital city, Kuala Lumpur, to reconnect with her faith.

“I met a lot of transgender women who are practising Muslims there. They told me God will love you for who you are. It’s between you and God,” Ms Sydek adds.

Having left home at 16, she would often find solace from back home.

“I usually call my grandmother and ask her to read some surah from the Quran just for me to remember the words,” Ms Sydek says.

The founder of Trans Sisters United, Ms Sydek says this year was her first year celebrating Ramadan in Australia as part of a larger community.

Oh my god! This is the best Ramadan I had in Australia, to be honest.

SASJA SYDEK

She says the previous Ramadans usually featured iftars with close friends and family, but this was the first with fellow members of the LGBTIQ+ community.

Its campaign of togetherness has seen BridgeMeals gain popularity among the greater community.

There were about 700 people from all around the Muslim community. I’m not sure if they knew whether we were queer or not, but we were all queer, trans, gay and lesbian.

ABDURRAHMAN

Todd Fernando, Victoria’s LGBTIQ+ Commissioner and Human Rights Commissioner Ro Allen were also seated at their table.

The way we view Islam or being a Muslim and a queer Muslim is a personal journey.

ABDULLAH YAHYA

Having the experience of being traumatised by homophobic Muslims, we can understand where they are coming from.

ABDULLAH YAHYA

Mariam at the BridgeMeals iftar. Credit: Ismail kayhan

We are definitely setting the scene for the next generation to be more comfortable with it. Gen Z are already more at ease.

MARIAM, AUSTRALIAN-BORN LGBTIQ+ MUSLIM

Neither she nor her family is particularly integrated into the Lebanese community — to which they belong — which is why she did not feel the social stigma associated with coming out.

However, she believes the number of Muslims coming out on social media and during events such as queer iftars, will help the wider Muslim community be more accepting of LGBTIQ+ Muslims.