Super Bowl Commercials Are Back and Painfully Desperate For Your Attention

On Sunday, February 12, FOX will air a Rihanna concert surrounded by dozens of advertisements starring A-list celebrities. I’m told that a football game will also go down. Unless there are movie stars or snack involved, I’ll tune in at the exact moment when I hear Doja Cat eating flaming hot Cheetos, or Larry David gloating that he was actually right about crypto.

The days of receiving financial advice from a baby, or watching a pterodactyl carry away the FedEx guy seem to be over, as today’s ads lean on celebrity nostalgia. Sure, the Liberty Mutual Emu and the Mucinex monster are still keeping it weird. And we appreciate it! But last year’s ads proved that if you weren’t referencing a popular media entity from the last decade like Tony Soprano or Austin Powers, then you weren’t properly selling me insurance. The trend seems to be continuing this year—and the commercials are getting even more bizarre. Check out some of our favorites heading into the big game.

This new M&M’s ad about canceling the talking candy spokespeople—because the sexy green M&M in heels got conservatives buzzing—was called out as a Super Bowl commercial immediately. Maya Rudolph is here now too, renaming the candies Ma&Ya’s. Okay! Remember when IHOP tried to become IHOB?

Apple TV+ and Timothée Chalamet

Is this a Super Bowl commercial? It’s definitely a great commercial, plus it solves the problem of telling me everything your streaming service has to offer without just showing me a montage of 10-second clips highlighting shows I’ve never heard of before. We’re hoping this one leads to Timmy getting his own Apple TV+ show.

Michelob ULTRA’s Caddyshack with Serena Williams and Brian Cox

What if Caddyshack starred Serena Williams and Brian Cox? Well, in that universe, a the shockwave from the sound of a Michelob ULTRA beer bottle cracking open helps Williams win the tournament. (Instead of pesky gophers.)

Doritos with Jack Harlow and Missy Elliott

Are Jack Harlow and Missy Elliott making a song together? No. They’re selling Doritos. Harlow and Elliott looking for a third member in some “love triangle”—which is probably Doritos!—but maybe the chip brand is bringing back Sling Baby.

Budweiser and Kevin Bacon

Kevin Bacon narrates this “six degrees of separation” Budweiser commercial that features a six-pack of beers being passed around to six different people. And here I thought I was supposed to be drinking all six.

Downy Unstoppables and Danny McBride

Downy won’t tell us who is hiding underneath this sweater, but it’s unquestionably The Righteous Gemstones‘s Danny McBride… right?

John Cena sings and dances about FICO scores in this cheery Experian commercial without a twist. Just a nice time and lyrics about the joys of having to pay your rent.

PopCorners and Breaking Bad

PopCorners are popcorn chips. Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul are from Breaking Bad. That’s about as much as I can connect here so far.

Rakuten and Alicia Silverstone

Silverstone is reprising her role as Cher from 1995’s teen hit Clueless—apparently to lend her talents to the online shopping destination. She’ll let us in on some big announcement coming soon, we’re sure.

Josh Rosenberg is an entertainment writer living in Brooklyn, keeping a steady diet of one movie a day; his past work can be found at CBR, Spin, Insider, and on his personal blog at Roseandblog.com.

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