[The Night of Retirement] Daddy's parental leave… What saved me from 'single parenting'?

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“When my dad said he made baby food, his eyes widened and he applauded and said that he was really amazing. I think it was probably the time when I received the most applause in my life.”

This is the story of reporter Kim Ji-hoon of , who returned to work after feeding, cleaning, dressing, and washing a 5-month-old baby while growing up to 17 months of age.

Although the culture of face-to-face care in which parents take care of children together is permeating everyday life, parental leave is still the responsibility of female workers. Statistics prove this. As of 2018, among male workers eligible for parental leave, the ratio of actual use of parental leave is about 1.2%. The rate of women taking parental leave was 11.9%.

On the 13th, the YouTube channel listened to the experiences of men on parental leave. Reporter Kim, who appeared as a guest guest, appeared without hesitation at the thought of “let’s increase (male) parental leave”. His parental leave was summarized as ‘difficult’. There were many days when I had no choice but to replace my meal with ramen, and the situation with a child who had difficulty communicating and unpredictable situations was an added bonus. After experiencing the frustration of parenting, how did you spend the time you had to spend alone?

He devoted 13 to 15 hours a day to childcare, and when the child fell asleep, he secured two hours of honey. When a child goes to dreamland, there are times when the eyes become more fuzzy. After bathing, I read the book I wanted to read. On days when parenting was difficult, I just looked at my cell phone blankly. Of course, there are days when we fall asleep together while singing a lullaby. A can of beer that seems to seep into your blood vessels is not to be missed.

Kim Ji-hoon (left) and Kim Mi-young, reporters talking have. Screen capture.

Women who have experienced parental leave are taking care of their children by themselves. He testifies that there are times when he stumbles with a sense of isolation. With the COVID-19 situation overlapping, it has become difficult to go out. What kind of emotions came to reporter Kim, who had to take full responsibility for a child’s day alone? He comforted his exhausted wife by asking his wife to talk on the phone every day.

“Man is a social animal. It was a time when I really appreciated it. A child cannot speak or express himself, so he has to keep talking on his own like an echo without an answer, and the entertainment runs out quickly. How are you spending your day? When I wake up in the morning, I remember it being very difficult.”

‘Solomon’ Childcare work was harsh. Fortunately, the cultural center that I visited twice a week with my children was a stage of friendship between parents and liberation district. One of the most suitable places to go out with small children was the cultural center operated by department stores and large marts. Why did reporter Kim choose the ‘Cultural Center’ as the most memorable place during maternity leave?

“It was so good to meet and talk with someone. I was looking forward to the day I went to the cultural center where information related to children could be shared. The people I met there were not satisfied with the cultural center classes alone, so they said to each other, ‘Come to my house!’ and ‘Please come to my house. I invited you to come, please.” (Laughter)

Short if short and long if long, there was a moment when the face of work and co-workers suddenly came to mind. What was it like to have to put down what you were doing and focus on childrearing?

“One year is a long time to become specialized in one field. (omitted) I also had this kind of anxiety about what to do if I couldn’t do my job properly in a responsible position later on. The seniors who went on maternity leave told me ‘don’t worry’, and when I came back, I was able to gain confidence by seeing everyone doing well. There are a lot of people who take parental leave around me, and I think it is very important to have such a culture.”

Reporter Kim Ji-hoon invited by . Screen capture.

Finally, is a childcare work for one of the parents. I wanted to convey that a focused environment can cause pain regardless of gender. This was also heard through Kim’s experience.

“When the child was not eating and crying, he got angry and hit the wall, but it was the glass. The glass was all shattered and I put it away with anguish. The baby is young, and he gets angry by himself and doesn’t know if it’s a wall or glass, but the glass is all shattered and spread all over the place. It was hard to think like that. If there are people around you who are taking parental leave, understand that it is not easy and continue to encourage them that it is absolutely not normal. I want you to remember that we need to share and help in many ways.”

Reporter Kim’s pleasant chatter was captured in the video of . On the 20th, actor Kim Hyeon-suk will find and tell the story. After playing an active role as ‘Chulsandra’ in and as ‘Young-ae’ in , Ha-min is living a second life as a mother. I sought wisdom on how to grow on my own without being engrossed in parenting. Reporter Park Soo-jin jjinpd@hani.co.kr

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