Trump Throws a Fit Over Investigators Going After His “Children,” Who Are in Their 40s

You may have noticed lately that 2022 is not going so hot for anyone named (or engaged to a) Trump. Donald Trump was dealt a huge, huge blow on Wednesday when the Supreme Court ruled the presidential records he’s tried to keep hidden could be transmitted to the January 6 committee. That same committee subpoenaed and obtained the phone records of Eric Trump and Kimberly Guilfoyle, also known as Donald Trump Jr.’s fiancée. Ivanka Trump’s cooperation with the people investigating the insurrection has been formally requested, and the former first daughter, her father, and his namesake were told to sit down and STFU by the New York attorney general’s office, which has no time for their games. All in all, not a great start to the year for a family that’s used to getting away with everything all the time. And you’ll never believe who thinks this whole “possibly for once being held accountable” thing should basically be illegal.

Speaking to the Washington Examiner, Donald Trump baselessly claimed on Friday that the January 6 investigation is an attempt by Democrats to take the heat off of Joe Biden, who, for those of you keeping up at home, is not the president who incited a violent riot in an attempt to overturn the results of a free and fair election. “It’s a disgrace, what’s going on. They’re using these things to try and get people’s minds off how incompetently our country is being run. And they don’t care. They’ll go after children,” Trump complained. Speaking of his eldest children as though they were (1) not full-grown adults and (2) hadn’t been given senior positions both in the White House and at the Trump Organization, the ex-president moaned about the panel: “It’s a very unfair situation for my children. Very, very unfair. They are using whatever powers they have. They couldn’t care less. They are vicious people.” He also, for the zillionth time, claimed Attorney General Letitia James’s investigation of the Trump family business is politically motivated, saying, “She campaigned on a whole issue of ‘I’ll get Trump. I’ll get Trump.’ And that’s all it was.”

Trump, of course, isn’t the only one who thinks Democrats should just get over the attempted coup and not ask any more questions about it. In fact, according to former GOP House Speaker Newt Gingrich, if those on the panel keep this up, they shouldn‘t be surprised if they find themselves in jail this time next year. Speaking to Fox News over the weekend, Gingrich described the House select committee as “basically a lynch mob” and said that if Republicans take Congress in November, its members will be behind bars. “This is all going to come crashing down,” Gingrich threatened. “They’re the ones who in fact, I think, face a real risk of jail for the kinds of laws they’re breaking…. And what they need to understand is on January 4 next year, you’re going to have a Republican majority in the House and a Republican majority in the Senate. And all these people who have been so tough, and so mean, and so nasty are going to be delivered subpoenas for every document, every conversation, every tweet, every email.” (In response to this alarming nonsense, committee vice chair Liz Cheney tweeted: “A former Speaker of the House is threatening jail time for members of Congress who are investigating the violent January 6 attack on our Capitol and our Constitution. This is what it looks like when the rule of law unravels.”)

And speaking of jail time, former Trump attorney Michael Cohen had a fun little story to share on Saturday. Per Business Insider:

Donald Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen, said Trump told him in 2012 that if one of his kids had to go to prison over the family business, to “make sure” it was Donald Jr., not Ivanka. Speaking to MSNBC on Saturday, Cohen said Trump gave him the instruction when his children were on the verge of being indicted by the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office in 2012.

“You may recall that there was the district attorney’s case here for Trump SoHo, where it was either Don or Ivanka was in very big trouble as a result of lying about the number of units that had been sold,” Cohen told MSNBC’s Alex Witt. “And Donald said it to me—I mean, I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t said directly to me—he goes, ‘If one or the other has to go to prison, make sure that it’s Don because Don would be able to handle it.’”

While we 1,000% believe that, given the option between the two, Trump would choose to keep Ivanka out of jail over Don Jr., we’re slightly skeptical that it’s because he thinks Don Jr. would be able to better hack it there as opposed to the very obvious fact that he’s (creepily) obsessed with his daughter and doesn’t seem to like his son very much at all.

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